Top 10 Reasons Not to Go To Church

  1. Would rather listen to elevator music than organ music
  2. Sleeping in a pew gives you a crick in your neck
  3. The coffee tastes like antifreeze, but thinner
  4. Last time you wore a tie was at your uncle's funeral
  5. You don't put much stock in organized religion
  6. Two words: Name Tags
  7. Have nightmares about the purple-haired lady on TV asking you for a love gift
  8. You find it easier to follow your college Chemistry Professor's lectures than the average sermon
  9. Already get plenty of guilt from your mother-in-law
  10. Self-righteous, hypocritical, stuffed shirts make you postal

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