God Doesn't Even Know We're Here

Actors: 5
Reference: Exodus 16 and other similar passages
Notes: This was our first skit!
The fun part is playing it so the audience does not realize the identity of the characters until Dave walks in near the end.

Full Script

[View Synopsis Only]

Scene: Three Israelites, preferably 1 man and 2 women (Joe, Ruth, and Esther) sit on the stage, pantomiming eating something off the ground. Their heads are down and they look singularly unexcited. The fourth and fifth men (Jonathan and David) are off stage.

Jon: (Walks on stage, sits down by group.) Boy is it hot!

Joe: You can say that again!

Ruth: But please don't!

Jon: OK - OK, I won't! But hey, Joe, at least you're getting a good tan. Dave, he's just getting burned to a crisp.

Esther: Poor guy.

Ruth: Where is he, anyway?

Jon: I sent him off to talk to The Man. I wanna know when we're getting out of this place!

Ruth, Esther, Joe: Good idea! Great! Yeah! I'm dying to get out of here! Etc.

Jon: (Begins Eating.) Hey, will you pass the sauce?

Ruth: (Derisively) What Sauce?

Esther: You have got to be kidding! We haven't had sauce in years!

Joe: I remember when we had sauce.

Jon, Joe: (Homer Simpson style) Mmmm...Sauce!

Jon: You're right - I was just dreaming again. Hey, is there anything to drink?

Esther: Yeah, here's some of that mineral water. Boy, I'm sick of mineral water!

Ruth: Remember when we had fruit juice?

Joe, Jon: Mmmm....Fruit Juice!

Jon: Ah well, thanks anyway. Hey, Ruth, are those new shoes?

Ruth: (Wining, gestures at her shoe) No! These are the same shoes I've had for years, and they won't wear out!(Turn to Esther) And do you think you can get a man to buy you a new pair of shoes when there's no holes in the old pair?

Esther: (Pulls at her shirt) Do you think you can get a man to buy you anything when the old one isn't worn out?

Ruth: Of course not! They just have No sense of fashion!

Jon: Are you through yet?

Ruth: (Petulantly) Yes.

Jon: Because you women seem to think we men are just made of money! You think...

Joe: (Cuts in) Well, uh, actually, Jon, we kinda are made of money at the moment.

Jon: Oh, yeah, right. We are. Well, you know, the thing about that is - and there is a thing... (Hunts for"the thing")

Joe: (Filling in) The thing is, I was loading up all my money and stuff yesterday, and I threw it on the Pinto - and it died! Just like that! Now I've lost my transportation!

Jon: Yeah! And when my son picked mine up the other day, he hyperextend his elbow!

Esther: Poor guy!

Joe: And its not like there's any place to spend it anyway! We're not going to encounter a strip mall around the next bend!

Ruth, Esther: Ahhh...Strip malls!

Joe: (Yawns) Boy am I tired!

Esther: You too? I feel like I haven't slept in a week!

Jon: Me either! What's keeping you up?

Joe: It's that bright light up in the sky! How are we supposed to sleep with three thousand million watts shining down on us, anyway?

Ruth: Yeah, and you'd think with all that going on at night, the fog would burn off. But every morning, that cloud is back. You can't see 50 feet in front of your face!

Esther, Joe, Jon: Yeah. I know what you mean. Etc.

Joe: Hey, what's taking Dave so long? I wanna know when we're getting out of here.

Jon: There he is! Hey! Dave! Did you talk to The Man? Are we leaving?

Dave: No, we're not leaving. Pass the manna.

Ruth: No! You already had your share!

Jon: Wait a minute, Dave. What do you mean, we're not leaving?!?

Dave: Moses said we're not leaving! Esther, didn't you save some of that manna last night? I'm hungry!

Esther: I did, but it was all full of maggots this morning. Yuck!

Joe: Moses?! Who made him the boss, anyway?

Jon: Yeah! I don't remember voting for him! I don't care if he did part the sea!

Ruth: Its called a Theocracy, Jon.

Joe: Hey, watch your language!

Jon: A Theo-what?

Ruth: A Theocracy. A government ruled by God and His human appointees.

Joe: I knew that!

Jon: God? God?!? With all that's been going on, I think God's forgotten we're even here!

The End