Full Script[View Synopsis Only]
Narrator: (selects several audience members and brings them on stage.) (This is your brain on drugs commercial-style) These are trees. (herds the group into a rough semi-circle center stage.) These are trees growing close together on Jesus-Ground.
Fruit Fairy: (quickly visits each tree and picks a great deal of fruit from each one.) Fruit- Fruit-Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit!
Narrator: Any questions?
Questioner: (From back of the audience, jumps up surprising the Narrator) Yeah, Ive got some questions! Hypothetically speaking, what happens if one of those trees was never rooted in Jesus-Ground?
Narrator: (singles out a tree and removes it from center stage.)
Fruit Fairy: (makes a reverse-picking motion whatever that is at the separated tree.) Tiurf- Tiurf- Tiurf- Tiurf- Tiurf- Tiurf- Tiurf!
Questioner: Uh, Turf?!?
Narrator: Fruit spelled backwards, of course! Shes de-fruiting the tree a tree without the Jesus-Ground cant produce anything!
Questioner: Ok, then, so lets say that there was just one tree in the Jesus-Ground.
Narrator: (Herds all but one tree off the Jesus-Ground)
Fruit Fairy: (slowly, sparsely) Fruit . Fruit.
Narrator: A tree apart from the rest of the orchard may produce fruit, but only a very little a tree needs the company of other trees to be really productive.
Questioner: All right. So, is she like the Fruit Fairy or something?
Fruit Fairy: (flourishing one hand and then the other as if holding / displaying pieces of fruit) Fruit - Fruit!
Questioner: I see. So, lets say all those trees were way far apart like at opposite corners of the Jesus-Ground?
Narrator: (Arranges trees thusly)
Fruit Fairy: (again, slowly, sparsely) Fruit . Fruit.
Narrator: Like I said before, a tree needs to be close to other trees to produce lots of healthy fruit. Trees need to cross-fertilize!
Questioner: I get it. So, now what if some other non-fruit bearing tree comes walking along and gets rooted in the Jesus-Ground?
Narrator: (Arranges trees back in a clump and selects a new tree from the audience.) You mean like this?
Fruit Fairy: (to the new tree) Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit!
Narrator: Any tree can become a fruit-bearing tree. All it takes is the Jesus-Ground.
Questioner: A couple more! What would happen if all those trees drank coffee?
Fruit Fairy: (jumping up and down, very hyper) Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit! Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit! Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit!
Narrator: Now look what youve done! Do you still have any questions?
Questioner: Oh, sorry. Yeah, I was just wondering what kind of trees those are.
Narrator: Theyre fruit trees, of course! What a silly question!
Questioner: Sorry again. But I do have a couple more questions. What would happen to the trees if a big storm came along?
Fruit Fairy: Fruit- Fruit- Fruit- Fruit!
Narrator: Even a big storm cant stop trees from producing fruit when theyre clustered close together in the Jesus-Ground. They all support one-another.
Questioner: Thanks! Now, Ive just got one more question.
Narrator: All right, but hurry it up!
Questioner: Thanks. Now, if a train leaves Phoenix at 1 pm travelling at 46 mph and another train leaves .
Narrator: (breaking in) Hey, wait a minute! Who set you up for this? You didnt come up with all those questions yourself, did you?
Questioner: (hangs head.) Youre right. Im a plant. (bu-dum-chick!)