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The New Manager
Full Script[View Synopsis Only]Scene: A fast food restaurant, at a relatively down time. Pam is perkily cooking french fries, Tami is happily serving milkshakes, and Jeff is diligently mopping the floor. The brand new manager steps in to observe. (The first portion of the skit is the managers dream, so the workers should really cheese it up.)
Manager: (Walks over to Pam) Boy, Pam, youre doing a great job on those fries - they look great! But Ive got just one suggestion. I think the fries could be taken out just a little earlier - some of them look a little brown. Pam: Oh, you are so right. You know, I think some of those got stuck in the basket last time - Ill try to be better about knocking them out. Ill set the timer a little shorter too. Oh, you know what else? I was thinking I could probably clean out that grease trap every other day instead of just once a week - thatll help too! Manager: Great! Thanks for that initiative! (Walks toward Tami at the milkshake machine) Tami - great job on those milkshakes! Tami: Wow! Thanks! Manager: Can I make just one suggestion though? I had one for lunch today, and I was thinking that maybe they could use just a little more ice cream. Tami: Gee, that super premium ice cream we use is pretty expensive. Manager: I know, but our customers are worth it, arent they? Tami: Oh, Absolutely! Ill get right on it! Hey- you know what else we could do? Manager: No - tell me! Tami: Have you seen those clear bubble lids other restaurants put on their milkshakes? You can get like an extra inch of milkshake in those. Maybe we could get some! Manager: Great Idea, Tami! I see if we can get some ordered. (Heads toward Josh) Josh: (Not really all there - kinda like Forest) Hey Mr. Manager! Am I doing a good job on the floors? Manager: Yes, Josh, they look great. Thats what I was just coming to tell you. But could I get you to do the bathrooms next? Josh: (slaps his forehead) Oh! The Bathrooms! I forgot I was supposed to do those a half hour ago! I get right on it. Hey - Ill bet if I work real fast on them Ill have time to sweep the parking lot before closing! Manager: Thanks Josh, youre a great employee! (Heads toward center stage) Hey, could I get everyone to meet over here for a couple minutes? Ive got some announcements! (All shuffle towards center and gather round) As you all know, Im your new manager. Ive been getting to know you one at a time today, and now Id like to fill you in on my plans for this restaurant. First of all, you guys are all doing a great job, and our customers know it. But we can do better! How would you feel about me setting a few goals for the coming week and charting our progress? (Gets affable nods all around.) Great. And theres one more thing. Id like to get us all new uniforms. (Gets some shock here) Pam: But - But I like my uniform! Brown and Orange are my favorite colors! (The others nod and verbalize assent) Manager: I know, and they look pretty good, but Im thinking Id like to update this restaurant for the 90s. I was thinking maybe forest green? Tami: I love green! Josh: Mr. Manager, I like Brown and Orange just like Pam, but if you think its best for us to get new ones, well, youre the boss and Ill follow you. (The others also nod) Tami: Hey- maybe we could get cotton ones too - this Polyester does get a little warm. Manager: Great idea, Ill keep it in mind. You guys can all go back to your stations now - this is going to be great! (All return. Manager walks slightly forward and stares dreamily into space. As employees return to stations, they do not start working again, but Pam grabs a magazine, Tami slumps on her table, and Josh pretends to smoke.) Tami: (Notices the manager is staring into space and goes over to shake him by the shoulders.) Hey! Mr. Manger! Are you OK? Manager: (Starts awake) Wha - wha? (Looks around and his dreamy look slowly fades to disappointment) Oh, yeah, Im OK. Im just great. (shakes his head) Im going to the back room. Yell if you need me. (slumps off stage) Josh: Gee, whats eating him up? Tami & Pam: Beats me!
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