Customer Service

Actors: 1
Reference: Genesis 6:3-13
Notes: You will need at least a chair, and a telephone may be useful - or you can mime a headset.

Full Script

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Scene:The customer service rep leans back in his chair, waiting for the phone to ring.

Customer Service Person: Thank you for calling Johnson's Widget Company. My name is Gus in Customer Service. How can I offer you the best service possible today? (Begins to wince during a pause. Then, with a phony accent...) Uh...no speak English. (Pause) No, I just memorize what I said. (Pause, then loses accent...) Uh, I guess you're right. How would I understand what you are saying to respond to it....Okay, can you describe for me again the trouble you are having with your widget? (Pause) Well, the problem you are describing sounds like you are having difficulty with the sprocket. Our sprocket department is staffed completely with temporary workers, so we can hardly be held responsible as a company for that....(Pause) Yes, I see your point. We do put our name on the work the temps do, but still...(Pause) Ma'am, allow me to level with you. Ever since the government stepped in to regulate our industry, we can't make widgets of the same quality that we used to....(Pause) You own a Meyer and Smith Widget and it is just as good as the ones they used to make....Okay, lady, I think I see what the problem is. You bought a Johnson Widget and you broke it yourself and now you're trying to blame us! I'll tell you what. You seem so gung-ho on Meyer and Smith Widgets, you buy theirs from now on and quit bugging us! (Disconnects call) Man! With as many times as I have to do that during the day, you'd think they'd give me a raise!

The End





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