The Sally Montel Springer Show

Actors: 4
Reference: Col 3:13
Notes: Try to hide the heckler well in the audience - make his first few comments a surprise to your viewers.

Synopsis

A typical daytime talk-show host, Sally announces with gusto that the theme of today’s program is “You ruined my life and I hate you!” Guests Tom and Lisa look uncomfortable and embarrassed as Sally zooms into Lisa with the microphone, inviting her to tell all. It turns out that Tom really has been a fairly poor husband of late – he started a fire in the kitchen, kicked the dog, and cut all the tags off Lisa’s Teeny Beanie Babies. All the while, Sally is being motherly and comforting toward Lisa. After the list is finally complete, she turns on Tom and asks for an explanation. Tom sheepishly admits he really doesn’t have much to say for himself except that he started the fire by trying to nuke a pot roast in the microwave, and he kicked the dog because he wouldn’t get out of the kitchen when the fire started. Finally, he cut the tags off the beanie babies in a fit of frustration over the amount of money he and Lisa had sunk into them. During the whole recitation and rebuttal, a heckler seated somewhere in the congregation makes loud comments about the horridness of Tom’s crimes and how he ought to be ashamed of himself. At the end of the rebuttal, Sally asks Tom what he expects Lisa to do. Somewhat sheepishly he admits that he apologized to Lisa before the show started and she agreed to forgive him. Sally, not to mention the heckler, is shocked by this revelation. It turns out that the couple had recently started going back to church as a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. They’d started thinking about forgiveness quite a lot lately, and finally decided to take action on it. Lisa admits that she has asked Tom for forgiveness as well for her actions (Tom points out that she is constantly leaving the toilet seat down.) Lisa hesitantly announces to Tom that she had, in fact, just dented their car as she pulled into the parking lot. Tom immediately asks if she was hurt, and quickly forgives her for this too. All the while, Sally is quietly seething. After the car announcement, she bursts out angrily that Tom and Lisa have ruined her show. She goes on to berate the shocked couple for leaving her in the lurch by having the gall to actually make up and leave her with nothing to talk about. There are still 40 minutes left in the show, and there seems to be absolutely no chance that it will some to yelling and screaming, let alone chair-throwing. Tom and Lisa are both very apologetic. Then Tom has a bright idea: Lisa is a very good Polka dancer, and he just happens to have his accordion in the trunk! Sally is, needless to say, disgusted. At this point the voice in her earphone informs her that there is a question from the audience. It is, of course, the heckler. When Sally hands him the mic, he suggests that maybe Sally needs to forgive Tom and Lisa. Almost speechless, Sally gives up and invites the audience to join her for 40 minutes of “Modern Polka” after the commercial break and cuts.




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