Robots

Actors: 4 Notes: By far the most difficult role in this skit is that of the broken robot - the actor will need to be able to not only keep a straight face, but also hold a variety of odd contortions forced upon him by his errant builder.

Synopsis

Fannie May and Jennie May are chicken farmers with a problem: Coyotes are attacking their flocks and those of their neighbors. Even worse, Neighbor Jed is convinced that Jennie’s dog Flash is to blame. (Flash has been dead for two years.)

Fannie somehow convinces Jennie that the new chicken-guarding robot is the answer to their problems. Unfortunately, the robot comes in a do-it-yourself kit that comes with an extensive manual. As we watch, Jennie and Fannie are building their robots (two actors seated in chairs.) Fannie is reading the manual carefully, and giving instructions as she goes, but Jennie refuses to listen, blatantly doing what seems right against all suggestions from Fannie. In fact, she is scornful of the whole instruction manual concept.

It comes out that Fannie has actually been through the robot building process at least twice before – On her first try she didn’t even open the instructions; on the second she scanned the book, but paid very little attention when the directions went against her common sense. Needless to say, the results of the first try are on the scrap heap; the second is serving as a rusted scarecrow. None of these experiences seem to sway Jennie, however, and by the time the robots are nearing completion, it is clear what the end results will be. While Fannie’s looks quite – err – human, Jennie’s has contorted limbs and twisted features. Worse, she pushes the robot’s “on” button before she knows what it’s for, coincidentally just when she and Fannie are discussing the ridiculous notion that a dead dog could “kill Jed’s chickens.”

Finally, Jennie and Fannie stand their robots up and turn them on. Fannie carefully gives hers instructions to “Protect Fannie’s Chickens.” It prowls off stage purposefully, repeating “must protect chickens” in a stately monotone. Soon, we hear the frightened yelping of a coyote running away. Thus encouraged, Jennie turns her twisted machine on, but alas, it was already programmed with the first thing it heard: the fractured command to “kill Jed’s chickens.” It lurches painfully in the direction of Jed’s farm, repeating this directive. It looses a limb or two along the way. Before Jennie takes off after it, she angrily blames the whole fiasco on Fannie, who remarks under her breath that at least there’ll be chicken for supper.




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