Demolition

Actors: 6+
Reference: Genesis 6
Notes: Actors may be added or subtracted from this skit with very little effort.

Full Script

[View Synopsis Only]

Scene: 1-5 sit in the front room of an old, broken down apartment watching TV. It is sweltering. 3 is flipping the channels with great frequency.

4: No, not that one.

5: Its too hot here.

3: How bout this one?

2: We are Not watching another Soap.

1: Hey, is anyone ever going to fix that big old hole in the wall over there?

2: Well, Ill bet they would, but the thing of it is...

1: And there is a thing?

2: You see, theres a crack that starts at that hole and goes all the way down to the baseboard.

3: Yeah, but the thing of it is...

1,2: (In unison) And there is a thing?

3: Uh huh. See, that crack goes all the way down past that baseboard, through all the other floors, and into the foundation. Its the foundation that needs to be fixed!

4: Youre right, but the thing of it is...

1,2,3: (In unison) And there is a thing?

4: The reason the foundation is all messed up is because the plumbing is shot. Its leaking all over and eating away at the foundation. Theyve got to fix the pipes before they can fix the foundation.

5: Thats true, but the thing of it is...

1,2,3,4: (In unison) And there IS a thing?

5: Yeah! You see, the reason the pipes are leaky is because theyre infested with rats and mice and all sorts of other vermin. (everyone shudders) Before they can fix the pipes, theyve got to exterminate the rats.

1,2,3,4: (In unison) Ohhhh!

(Suddenly there is a frantic knocking at the door.)

Worker: Hey! Is there anyone home in there?

2: I wonder who that is?

5: Ill get it. (Opens door.)

Worker: HEY! What are you guys still doing in here?

4: Uh, watching TV?

Worker: Are you crazy? This building has been condemned! Theyre tearing it down in 5 minutes! Youve got to get out of here!

2: Youre the one whos crazy. They wouldnt tear this building down - we live here!

3: I think I saw a flyer about that in the mail the other day. I threw it away. (incredulously) Do you mean to tell us theyre really planning to tear down this building in 5 minutes?

Worker: (Looks at watch) No, theyre tearing it down in 3 minutes! Now lets go!

4: (to 5) You know, I do think I saw something about that down in the laundry room last week.

5: I think I did too - and that lady down the hall mentioned it yesterday too.

1: Oh - was that why she was moving out?

(Worker is standing nervously in the doorway, tapping his foot.)

4: Must have been. Well, Im convinced. Come on, lets go.

5: Yeah!

(4 & 5 jump up and begin scurrying about, gathering stuff to carry out.)

3: Sit down! (1, who has begun to rise, sits suddenly back.) Do you guys actually believe this guy? I mean, how do we know he is who he says he is?

2: Yeah - are you really ready to give up your home just because some crazy guy shows up and feeds you a story?

1: Uh ... well, there are rats in the pipes!

3: Well I for one am Not. You guys can go if you want, but I am staying right here!

(1 looks really undecided. 4&5 are still getting ready)

Worker: Look. This building is going up in a minute and a half. If youre coming, youve got to come now.

(4 & 5 follow him out the door. 1 teeters for a moment, then jumps up after them.)

1: Hey! Wait for me!

(2 and 3 settle back on the couch in disgust.)

3: Wimps. I cant believe they fell for that. Oh well, theyll be back tonight!

2: Hey! Its time for Star Trek!

(They settle back to watch. Suddenly, the apartment is rocked by a large thud.)

4&5: (Look at each other in horror for "a beat.") AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (They pause, look all around and then back at each other.) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!