The Clone

Actors: 4
Reference: Romans 8:11-14
Notes: You'll need two chairs center stage and a microphone downstage. Also, have a newspaper for Charles.

Full Script

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Scene: Alice and Beth are seated on the stage talking to each other. Alice approaches microphone.

Alice: Hello, and thanks to each of you for coming here this evening. Each of you was invited because of your past generous contributions to our research and we felt it was important to have our most faithful contributors present for the unveiling of...well...our masterpiece. Now, we are aware that many of you are still a little apprehensive about the whole topic of cloning, but after this evening, we are confident that you will believe, as us, that the ends justify the means. Before I say too much, I would like to introduce my colleague, Dr. Beth Francis.

Beth: Thank you, Dr. Schwartz. (Blowing into microphone) Is this thing on? Welcome, one and all. As you know, cloning has been a possibility for a while now. In fact, it has been possible here for 21 years. More on that later. As young and idealistic doctors in the late 60's, Dr. Schwartz and I took a look at our society and were dismayed with what we saw. Politicians, lawyers, doctors, teachers, athletes...nobody seemed to live up to a high standard of principles. Every where we looked, corruption reigned. We decided that if we didn't use our minds to fix the problem, our world would soon perish. So we began collecting gene samples of famous examples of principled people. Alice, help me out here.

Alice: Abraham Lincoln!

Beth: That's right. We got a strand of hair from Abraham Lincoln, some of Billy Graham's sweat, Mother Theresa's fingernail, and oh...we even stole a strand from the Shroud of Turin.

Alice: Uh, if there are any members of the media here, we will deny that last one.

Beth: At any rate, we spliced together the DNA from these genes in an effort to create the perfectly principled person. That's where principles are. In the genes!

Alice: That's right. So when the project needed to be educated, Beth - she did his teaching - chose not to teach him any principles and risk tainting him. Now that he is 21 years old, he is ready to go out into the world and prepare for his political life, which will culminate with his accession to the presidency. So without further ado, please welcome Charles!

Beth: Come on out here Charles. He's a little shy of crowds. (Charles comes out from backstage and is nervously looking around.) Please, have a seat.

Alice: Yes, have a seat and take a look at this newspaper. Then we will ask you to reflect on something you read....(Charles takes newspaper and looks it over) Oh my! A speed reader.

Beth: Yes, we worked hard at that. See, he's done.

Alice: Great! Well, Charles, why don't you pick a problem you read about and give us a perfectly principled solution.

Charles: Okay....Uh, how about this homeless population problem?

Alice: How about it?

Charles: Well, from what I read, there are a lot of homeless people gathering in abandoned structures in the downtown portion of the city. If the government would just take the time to destroy those buildings, the homeless people would have to look for shelter elsewhere, possibly even in a different town. That would mean they couldn't....

Beth: That's enough on that, Charles. Uh...why don't you tell us about this nuclear disarmament article.

Charles: Sure. The problem with the U.S. disarming nuclear weapons right now is that every one else is too. If we would stockpile them instead, we could rule the world with an iron fis....

Beth: Forget about the newspaper. Tell us about starvation in third world countries.

Charles: Oh, talk about a good reason to stockpile nuclear weapons!

Alice: Uh, Beth, lets go straight to the portion involving audience participation.

Beth: Good thinking, Alice. Can we have a volunteer from the audience? You, ma'am. Will you please come up here? (A woman approaches from the audience) You look very familiar. What is your name?

Darla: My name is Darla Yeon.

Alice: Darla Yeon! I just saw on TV that you have inherited several million dollars. Congratulations.

Charles: Yes! I watch that show, too. You are great on that. That is one of my favorite shows. Is it tough being (Beth stops him and whispers in his ear) uh, on the news like that? I imagine you had to train for several years to inherit that much money. Obviously you are very talented at inheriting because (Beth whispers to him again) um, you pick the right relatives to have die.

Beth: (After a brief awkward silence) Charles, do you remember why we were going to have an audience member come up on stage?

Charles: Yes. You see, Darla, they wanted to have me tell you why a man like me would be beneficial for the world to have as a ruler. However, I can tell you are a smart woman who knows that the world needs a principled leader like me, so I'll cut to the chase. In order to get the word out, it's gonna take money. Lots of it. Now I know that if you care about your world, you'll happily turn over your inheritance to me.

Darla: Uh, I'm less than convinced.

Charles: All right. Let me put it this way. Is there a Cabinet position you have always thought you'd enjoy?

Darla: Ladies, with all due respect, your masterpiece here is slime.

Beth: Slime!?!

Alice: Beth, unfortunately, I think she's right.

Beth: Oh, I know, but I'm still bitterly disappointed.

Charles: Is this all the defense I get? I'm the perfectly principled man, for crying out loud! Well if this is the treatment I get, I'm heading out to soil these lily white principles you gave me! (He storms off)

Beth: Where on earth could we have possibly gone wrong?

Darla: Your mistake was believing that principled living is genetic. The power to live a principled life comes from the Holy Spirit. I learned that in first grade Sunday School...doctors. (She exits)

Alice: Hmm, she may be right about that. At any rate, your contribution dollar is still very important to the advancement of science. Join us here again a month from tonight as we unveil our attempt to cross an elephant and an eagle.

Beth: Please, remember to bring a sturdy umbrella to that gathering.