The Three Little Pigs

Actors: 3+
Reference: Matthew 7:24-27

Full Script

Scene: The stage contains a chair preferably an overstuffed or other "family room" type one off to the side. Aunt Bertha, who is holding a book, occupies the chair. If she feels uncomfortable, she may want to print her lines and hide them inside her open book. This skit went over great with the kids we invited ours up to sit in front by Aunt Bertha.

Aunt Bertha: Good morning boys and girls! Im so glad you could come today! Welcome to Aunt Berthas Story Hour! Todays story is one of my favorites, about the Three Little Pigs. Now, some of you may think youve heard this story before, but believe me, youve never heard Aunt Berthas version so listen up!
Now, once upon a time, there were three little pigs. Their names were Gordy, Wilbur, and Babe. As all little pigs do, Gordy, Wilbur, and Babe grew up, and, as most little pigs do, they decided that is was time to move out on their own and make their way in the world. Now, Gordy was the first one to move out.

Gordy: (Walks out on stage, waves to the audience.)

Aunt Bertha: Gordy was always in a hurry. He was in a hurry to eat, in a hurry to do his schoolwork, in a hurry to play with his friends, and in a hurry to get out on his own.

Gordy: Pantomimes each of the above while Aunt Bertha reads them.

Aunt Bertha: So, as you may guess, Gordy was also in a hurry to get his house built. So, he chose the first site he came across a quaint little lot right next a well traveled road.

Gordy: (After pantomiming a very brief search) This looks like a good spot!

Aunt Bertha: He noticed that the road was paved with good intentions, which he thought would make a very nice building material.

Gordy: Hey! These would make a great building material!

Aunt Bertha: Uh, I said that!

Gordy: Oh - sorry.

Aunt Bertha: And sure enough, they did. He pulled up a few good intentions and slapped together a quick little house.

Gordy: (Builds his house)

Aunt Bertha: In no time at all, Gordys house was complete. He wrote his name on the door, and moved in.

Gordy: (Pantomimes the above) What a great little house!

Aunt Bertha: Gordy was very happy in his new house. Until October. You see, the thing of it is...

Gordy: (Worriedly) And there is a thing?

Aunt Bertha:Yes. In October, the wind began to blow.

Gordy: (Shivers) Whoa. This place is a little drafty.

Aunt Bertha: Sure enough, there were a lot of cracks and holes in his good intentions and the wind went right through! In November, the rain began to fall. Soon, Gordy was not only cold, but he was wet, too. Poor Gordy. His good intentions simply werent holding up the storms of life.

Gordy: (Pantomimes shivering, getting wet, etc.)

Aunt Bertha: And then, who do you think showed up? Yes, it was the Big, Bad, Wolf!

Big Bad Wolf: (Slinks on to stage, then heads straight for Gordys house.)

Aunt Bertha: The Big Bad Wolf didnt have any trouble finding Gordys house, located right on the road like it was, and he decided he was in the mood for a snack.

Big Bad Wolf: (In an Arnold Swartzneger Accent (Essential!)) Little Pig, Little Pig, Let me in!

Gordy: Who are you?!!

Big Bad Wolf: I am the Big Bad Wolf, but you can call me the Piginator!

Gordy: Go away! You cant get into my house! Sure, its a little drafty, but it will keep you out.

Big Bad Wolf: Your house is nothing! I could knock it down with my pinky!

Gordy: No you cant! You just try!

Big Bad Wolf: (Pokes the house with his pinky. It falls down. Gordy screams and runs off stage with the Big Bad Wolf in hot pursuit.)

Aunt Bertha: And that was the end of Gordy. But dont worry, there are still two little pigs left. Babe was the next to leave home.

Babe: (Walks out on stage)

Aunt Bertha: (If all 3 pigs are played by the same person) Did I mention that the 3 little pigs were triplets?

Aunt Bertha: Anyway, Babe wasnt in quite as a big a hurry as her brother Gordy, and unlike her brother, she wasnt scared of a little hard work. So she took her time looking for a place to build her house.

Babe: (Searches about the stage for an appropriate location, mumbling to herself.)

Aunt Bertha: She didnt want to be too close to a road roads bring dangerous characters. So she found a little secluded lot near a stream. Being as it was summer, the ground was nice and firm. It was a mess, but she had time!

Babe: Well, talk about your fixer-upper, but I think this is the place!

Aunt Bertha: For her building material, Babe selected Good Works. They were harder to handle than Good Intentions, but they were sturdier, too. It took Babe a lot longer to build her house than it had taken Gordy, but in the end, it was a cute little cottage with a beautiful flower garden out in front.

Babe: (Pantomimes building, sawing, planing, etc.)

Aunt Bertha: When at last she was finished, Babe wrote her name on the door and moved in.
She was very happy in her new house. October and November passed without event. There were no cracks in her walls! But then December came along. You see, the thing of it is...

Babe: And there is a thing?

Aunt Bertha: I'm afriad there is. In December, the snow began to fall. The roof began to make alarming noises!

Babe: Whoa! Is that a bend in my rafters?

Aunt Bertha: That nice, calm little creek she was so fond of was transformed into a raging river. And her nice, solid floor got all soft and soggy, practically overnight!

Babe: Oh no! My floor! I'm going to have a lot of work to do next summer!

Aunt Bertha: But who do you think showed up right about then? Thats right! The Big Bad Wolf!

Big Bad Wolf: (Slinks in and searches about for Babes house.)

Aunt Bertha: Somehow, Babes house wasnt as well hidden as she had thought, and the Big Bad Wolf found her in no time flat.

Big Bad Wolf: (Dont forget the Arnold imitation!) Little Pig, Little Pig, Let Me In!

Babe: Who are you?!

Big Bad Wolf: I am the Big Bad Wolf. Prepare to be eaten!

Babe: You killed my brother! Go away - You cant get in here. My house is much sturdier than Gordys!

Big Bad Wolf: Your house is worse than nothing! I dont even have to blow. I just need to sneeze!

Babe: You just try it, then!

Big Bad Wolf: Ah-ah-ah-ah-CHOO!

(The house falls down and Babe makes for the hills. The wolf is close behind.)

Big Bad Wolf: Hasta La Vista, Bacon!

Aunt Bertha: And that was the end of Babe. Poor Babe and Gordy! But wait, theres one little pig left! Wilbur! Now Wilbur was the last little pig to leave home. And he was certainly both smarter and wiser than his siblings, for he would not be satisfied either with the road side or the secluded creek. No sir, he didnt stop looking for a site til hed found the solid rock of Jesus.

Wilbur: (Searches about for quite some time until he finds the rock. Stomps on it several times to make sure it is solid.)

Aunt Bertha: With the rock as his foundation, Wilbur knew he wouldnt have to worry about floods or storms or snow or any other of lifes troubles. So, he selected that absolute finest in building materials, and began his house.

Wilbur: (Takes his time framing, hammering, sawing, planing, painting, etc.)

Aunt Bertha: It took a long time, but when he was finished, Wilbur had the cutest, quaintest, sturdiest little house you ever saw. He wrote some Bible verses on the door and moved in. Wilbur was very happy in his new home. Every night, especially when the weather got cold, he cooked himself a big pot of special soup while he read his Bible. And the storms and the floods and the snow never touched him. But who do you think showed up about January? Thats right! It was the Big Bad Wolf looking leaner and meaner than ever.

Big Bad Wolf (Struts up to Wilburs house.) Little Pig, Little Pig, Let Me In!

Wilbur: You must be the Big Bad Wolf! You ate my siblings, but youll never get me!

Big Bad Wolf: True, your house is sturdier than your sisters and brothers, but I will still huff, and puff, and blow your house down!

Wilbur: You just try!

Big Bad Wolf: Thats what they all say! (Huff, puffs, and blows to no avail of course. Eventually falls over from lack of oxygen.)

Aunt Bertha: That Big Bad Wolf huffed for a long time. When that didnt work, he tried puffing. Finally, he moved on to straight out blowing. But nothing worked. Finally, he got kind of light headed and fell over.

Big Bad Wolf: Your house is sturdy, little pig. But do not worry, I will get in anyway.

Aunt Bertha: And what do you think that wolf did? He headed for Wilburs shed and pulled out a ladder. Then he climbed up on the roof and started to go down the chimney. But Wilbur just kept on stirring his dinner.

Big Bad Wolf: Hey! I know that smell! That is Holy Spirit Soup!

Aunt Bertha: Yes sir, Wilbur always cooked himself Holy Spirit soup so that he could be filled with the Spirit, of course!

Wilbur: Come on down, Mr. Wolf, and Ill serve you up a bowl!

Big Bad Wolf: I hate Holy Spirit Soup! I cannot stand the smell! Im getting out of here! But do not worry Ill be back!

Aunt Bertha: And you know what, he was. Every few months the Big Bad Wolf would come back with a new method for getting into Wilburs house. He tried a shovel. He tried a pickaxe, he tried a jackhammer. He even tried dynamite! (Big Bad Wolf mimes all these attempts in fast-motion) But nothing ever worked, because Wilburs house was built on the Solid Rock, and nothing could move him.
Well, boys and girls, thats the end of our story! Can anyone tell me what the moral is? No, the moral is: Build your house on the rock, or be a ham sandwich!

The End!